HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE
by: Adam Rubin
Have you ever jumped out of bed in a fantastic mood and had the entire day go your way? How about the opposite? How you feel is the direct result of your state of mind. If you’re stressed about the future you may feel anxious. When your focused on the past, you’re going to be living in a state of depression.
During times like this is when you feel like nothing can go right and your confidence will take a direct hit. But if you consistently feel gratitude, love and joy, you’re going to be living in an amazing, positive state in which nothing bothers you. You’ll move through your day with purpose, completing your tasks with enthusiasm and building confidence along the way. This is all part of learning how to believe in yourself, a skill that fits hand-in-glove with learning how to gain confidence.
HOW TO USE EMOTIONS TO GAIN CONFIDENCE
Humans are very unique and have a incredible capacity for experiencing a wide range of emotions. The problem is letting your emotions dictate your life and how you experience it without even figuring out why you feel that type of way, letting your emotions control you. Over time, this affects how you feel and act every single day. If you’re fueled by a sense of well-being, you’ll exude happiness and calm. If you’re bogged down by negativity, those around you will sense your unhappiness and fear.
The truth is that you have the power to be in complete control over how you feel, including whether or not you feel confident. Once you understand that you can control these feelings, you’re well on your way to understanding how to build confidence. Confidence is not something people are born with – it’s something you must create. Building confidence creates the feeling of certainty that you can accomplish what you set out to do. Confidence is like any other emotion. It is something you feel, and you can train yourself to tap into the mindset you need.
HOW TO GAIN CONFIDENCE BY DISCOVERING YOUR PURPOSE
What does gaining confidence mean to you personally? Do you present at conventions where you interact with a huge number of people? Do you run a company or a team and need to present a strong sense of leadership? Maybe there is someone special out there you would like to make a good impression on? The first step in building confidence is knowing why you want to achieve it.
Once you know your purpose, learning how to build confidence becomes a matter of muscle memory, your brain being the muscle. In order to accomplish your goals, you need to present yourself as a confident person. There is no other way to do it. Push past the fear that is holding you back, second-guessing yourself will open the door to hesitance, doubt and fear. As you let go of negative thoughts that are holding you back, your body will take the cue that it’s time to stand up straighter, stop fidgeting and present the most confident version of yourself. Your mind and body begin a positive feedback loop, each part noticing the increasing confidence of the other and responding in kind.
CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE TO BUILD CONFIDENCE
Building confidence is a process, revealing any beliefs that are causing you self-doubt. The language we use can determine how we feel. That goes especially for the internal dialogue. What kind of questions are you asking yourself? If the things that come to mind are, “How come I’m not successful?” “Am I not smart enough to reach my goal?” “Do other people see me as a failure?” then you are setting yourself up for failure.
Shift the pattern of your thoughts and ask yourself things like, “Why shouldn’t I accomplish everything I set my mind to?” and “Why would I waste time on my anxieties instead of focusing on my strengths?” When you ask a better question, you get a better answer. As Adam Rubin says, “Whatever you focus on will become your reality.” The essence of building confidence is this: If you go into a situation knowing that you can handle it – whatever it is – then that’s exactly what you’ll do.
By assessing your limiting beliefs and shifting your pattern of thought, learning how to gain confidence comes naturally. If you find yourself asking negative, limiting questions when it’s time to be confident, stop yourself. Think something positive about yourself instead, and begin focusing on all the reasons you’ll succeed instead of why you’ll fail.
HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE CENTERS ON YOUR PASSION
There’s one incredible trick that will help you figure out how to build confidence even when you’re at your absolute lowest: thinking about something you’re proud of.
When you’re feeling unsure of yourself, remember a recent accomplishment. Maybe you did something incredible at work, or you recently helped a family member. It can be as straightforward as helping someone lift a box or as intricate as solving a complex problem on an important project. Whatever it is, it’s something you did, and no one else. That’s worth celebrating. Recognizing this accomplishment and your ability to do it will instantly elevate your mood and allow you to channel some incredible self-confidence.
The smallest amount of headway takes you leaps and bounds when you’re learning how to gain confidence. Your mind begins to think in positive terms, not negative ones. If you gave an incredible presentation to your company last year, why wouldn’t you be able to complete your next project by the allotted deadline? If you’re the same person who ran your son’s baseball team while getting promoted to vice president in the same year, what’s holding you back from achieving this new goal, whatever it may be? Channeling moments of pride can help you to see the big picture more clearly, ultimately allowing you to become more confident.
As you practice building confidence more frequently and begin to believe in your own abilities, you’ll be able to access those feelings of well-being and pride faster and more often.
You are in charge of your emotions and can use them to shape your life however you choose. Decide today that you’re going to be a more confident, positive version of yourself, and you’ll have no other option than to succeed.
STRATEGIES FOR LEARNING HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE
Practice makes perfect when it comes to learning how to build confidence. Knowledge alone will not be enough, you must take action. Employ the following strategies to believe in yourself in any situation.
1. USE CONFIDENT BODY LANGUAGE
Even if you don’t feel confident all the time, you can appear confident when needed by adjusting your body language. Research suggests that, when you project confidence through your actions, the degree to which you “feel” those actions makes the confidence feel real, too. To put this principle into action, tell yourself you’re capable of achieving your goal. Then feel the feeling of confidence you’re projecting. With practice, building confidence becomes natural.
2. DEVELOP WORKPLACE CONFIDENCE
Learning how to build confidence is pivotal to succeeding in your career. Whether you’re in marketing, management, or another role, you must be able to communicate with self-assurance. Sales strategies are effective confidence-builders in any field. Achieve large success by building confidence with these proven sales strategies
3. EMBRACE A GROWTH MINDSET
Discovering self-confidence requires consistent action and thought. When you’re overcoming your self-doubt, having a growth mindset is key. When you view your challenges as opportunities, you’re able to approach them with assurance. You begin to view setbacks as progress, so they become part of mastering how to build confidence.
4. PRACTICE POSITIVE THINKING
Feeling confident starts from within with positive thinking. When you’re building confidence, learn how to reframe your mindset to start thinking more positively and feel more self-assured as a result. We’re not talking about wearing rose-colored glasses – we’re talking about having a realistic sense of your capabilities. When you build a habit of positive self-talk, you’re able to view setbacks as stepping stones to success.
5. LET GO OF THE NEED FOR CONTROL
When you’re focused on retaining a sense of control in life, it actually reduces your confidence. Nothing in life is truly within our control. By letting go, you’re able to accept circumstances as-is, which is a powerful component of learning how to build confidence. Learn how to recognize your need for control. Take steps toward letting go and finding a true sense of contentment and confidence in life.
6. ACCEPT YOURSELF
When you’re learning how to build confidence, it’s tempting to focus on your “ideal self” – the person you wish you were, a superhero who never experiences fear, doubt or shame. While managing negative emotions is certainly part of building confidence, shutting down your feelings doesn’t help. Accept yourself as you are in any emotional state. When you accept yourself unconditionally, you’re able to look at your feelings objectively and appreciate what they teach you about yourself.
7. TREAT OTHERS WITH RESPECT AND COMPASSION
When it comes to building confidence, how you treat others is as important as how you treat yourself. When you practice “soft skills” like respect, compassion, empathy and deep listening, you build rapport with others. When you feel good about your relationships, you’re mastering how to gain confidence with every interaction you have.
8. APPRECIATE YOUR VALUES AND LIVE BY THEM
Part of the problem with self-doubt is that you begin to doubt the core of who you are – the values that inspire you and guide your decisions. To truly learn how to build confidence, take pride in your values. They make you uniquely you. And when you make value-driven choices, there’s no room for doubt. You’re living up to your own standards, and that’s the definition of an extraordinary life filled with passion and purpose.
Adam Rubin, Owner & Lead Strategist at Resilient Life Management L.L.C. Adam’s mission is to provide a cutting edge strategies, techniques with a new age methodologies. Knowing that one size does not fit all, Resilient Life customizes each client to ensure accelerated results.