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MEN WITH DEPRESSION

MEN WITH DEPRESSION

MEN WITH DEPRESSION

Posted By: Adam Rubin

 

WHAT IS DEPRESSION

Depression: de·pres·sion /dəˈpreSH(ə)n/ Noun
Feelings of severe despondency and dejection.
“self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression”
 

MEN VS WOMEN : DEPRESSION

Men and women suffer depression almost equally. Men, however, believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness. This increases risk for a depression-related illness or suicide because they bottle up all their emotions inside. Most men hide their depression by trying to cover their feelings. Majority of cases will avoid feeling anything with drugs, alcohol, sex, or work.

Depression shows in men not as helpless or hopeless, but as angry, frustrated, and other aggressive feelings. Men are less likely to seek treatment than women and they are less likely to admit that they have a problem.

 

DEPRESSION IN MEN

Depression and man are at war and you wouldn’t even know it until there is a victor. Drugs may be a bandaid for a deep wound, which makes it difficult to pick up on some of the signs of depression, even if it is a loved one. When one is actively trying to cover up their feelings, it makes it even more difficult. They may seem full of smiles and carrying on with daily routines, but deep down inside there is a beast stirring up, just waiting to come out. Now, not only do we have to bring the depression to the front lines, we also may have to deal with an addiction or dual-diagnosis which complicates the diagnosis. Which came first “the chicken or the egg”.

 

TYPICAL DEPRESSION SIGNS : SELF-HELP

Some of the typical depression signs, which can vary from person to person, like sleeping more than usual, not sleeping at all, tension, or uncontrollable anger. Although I am not a medical professional, my personal experience has shown me that having a support team in your corner, unconditionally, doesn’t hurt. Well it hurts if you are trying to hide these things, but addressing the topic and letting that special someone now you are there when your ready to talk.

It’s important not to push the issue and just let things run their course with men. This could risk pushing them further away.

If you are a man who is depressed, there are a few things you can do to help yourself:

  • TALK: Talk to anyone about how you are feeling. Just getting it off your chest even in a confessional, is a weight lifted off your shoulder.
  • ACTIVE: Find something active you enjoy, go for a walk, put some music on or maybe play music. (Music/Art is great, for it uses the right side of your brain, the creative side)
  • BREAKS: Take breaks to do these activities and refresh your mind for the rest of the day.
  • RELAX: Remember to relax. Especially after a long day, putting aside some alone time to relax ( Not on social media)
  • NUTRITION: Healthy Eating & Exercise will keep your body and immune system strong. Be ready mentally & physically.

 

HOW CAN A LIFE COACH HELP WITH MY DEPRESSION?

A Life Coach is not a Therapist, nor counselor. Coaches focus more on results, while other professionals focus on the trauma. Although, both have their place. Head over to check out our Life Coach Vs. Therapist Page for an in depth analysis.

The job of the coach is to see the greatness inside of you that you are yet to see. Staying focused on the results and reaching them efficiently. Each party has their place. For me personally, I spent close to a decade with various specialists. Most of the time I would end up remembering other reasons to be depressed and was hopeless. Even on medications, I will admit there were some nights, in the back of my mind I was hoping to go to sleep and stay asleep.

There is nothing wrong with being on medications. That is a private matter between you and your healthcare professional. However, how many people do you know on an antidepressant who are still depressed? Eventhough

Resilient Life Coaching uses “Human Needs Psychology” to identify an individuals belief system, for everyone has a different set of rules they live by. Finding out what they hold close to their heart, could be the leverage you need to breakthrough to a happier, wealthier, more fulfilled life.

 

ADAM RUBIN

ADAM RUBIN

Owner/Lead Strategist

Founder & Lead Strategist at Resilient Life Management L.L.C. He is also a proud father of three boys, Cole, Caden & Chase. Adam has dedicated his life to helping others attain a life well beyond their wildest dreams. Both in Business & Personal Lifestyle.

HOW TO GAIN CONFIDENCE

HOW TO GAIN CONFIDENCE

HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE

by: Adam Rubin

Have you ever jumped out of bed in a fantastic mood and had the entire day go your way? How about the opposite? How you feel is the direct result of your state of mind. If you’re stressed about the future you may feel anxious. When your focused on the past, you’re going to be living in a state of depression.

During times like this is when you feel like nothing can go right and your confidence will take a direct hit. But if you consistently feel gratitude, love and joy, you’re going to be living in an amazing, positive state in which nothing bothers you. You’ll move through your day with purpose, completing your tasks with enthusiasm and building confidence along the way. This is all part of learning how to believe in yourself, a skill that fits hand-in-glove with learning how to gain confidence.

 

HOW TO USE EMOTIONS TO GAIN CONFIDENCE

Humans are very unique and  have a incredible capacity for experiencing a wide range of emotions. The problem is letting your emotions dictate your life and how you experience it without even figuring out why you feel that type of way, letting your emotions control you. Over time, this affects how you feel and act every single day. If you’re fueled by a sense of well-being, you’ll exude happiness and calm. If you’re bogged down by negativity, those around you will sense your unhappiness and fear. 

 The truth is that you have the power to be in complete control over how you feel, including whether or not you feel confident. Once you understand that you can control these feelings, you’re well on your way to understanding how to build confidence. Confidence is not something people are born with – it’s something you must create. Building confidence creates the feeling of certainty that you can accomplish what you set out to do. Confidence is like any other emotion. It is something you feel, and you can train yourself to tap into the mindset you need.

 

 

 

HOW TO GAIN CONFIDENCE BY DISCOVERING YOUR PURPOSE

What does gaining confidence mean to you personally? Do you present at conventions where you interact with a huge number of people? Do you run a company or a team and need to present a strong sense of leadership? Maybe there is someone special out there you would like to make a good impression on? The first step in building confidence is knowing why you want to achieve it.

Confidence, happiness

Once you know your purpose, learning how to build confidence becomes a matter of muscle memory, your brain being the muscle. In order to accomplish your goals, you need to present yourself as a confident person. There is no other way to do it. Push past the fear that is holding you back, second-guessing yourself will open the door to hesitance, doubt and fear. As you let go of negative thoughts that are holding you back, your body will take the cue that it’s time to stand up straighter, stop fidgeting and present the most confident version of yourself. Your mind and body begin a positive feedback loop, each part noticing the increasing confidence of the other and responding in kind.

 

CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE TO BUILD CONFIDENCE

Building confidence is a process, revealing any beliefs that are causing you self-doubt. The language we use can determine how we feel. That goes especially for the internal dialogue. What kind of questions are you asking yourself? If the things that come to mind are, “How come I’m not successful?” “Am I not smart enough to reach my goal?” “Do other people see me as a failure?” then you are setting yourself up for failure.

confidence

Shift the pattern of your thoughts and ask yourself things like, “Why shouldn’t I accomplish everything I set my mind to?” and “Why would I waste time on my anxieties instead of focusing on my strengths?” When you ask a better question, you get a better answer. As Adam Rubin says, “Whatever you focus on will become your reality.” The essence of building confidence is this: If you go into a situation knowing that you can handle it – whatever it is – then that’s exactly what you’ll do.

By assessing your limiting beliefs and shifting your pattern of thought, learning how to gain confidence comes naturally. If you find yourself asking negative, limiting questions when it’s time to be confident, stop yourself. Think something positive about yourself instead, and begin focusing on all the reasons you’ll succeed instead of why you’ll fail.

 

HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE CENTERS ON YOUR PASSION

 

There’s one incredible trick that will help you figure out how to build confidence even when you’re at your absolute lowest: thinking about something you’re proud of.
confidence - find your purposeWhen you’re feeling unsure of yourself, remember a recent accomplishment. Maybe you did something incredible at work, or you recently helped a family member. It can be as straightforward as helping someone lift a box or as intricate as solving a complex problem on an important project. Whatever it is, it’s something you did, and no one else. That’s worth celebrating. Recognizing this accomplishment and your ability to do it will instantly elevate your mood and allow you to channel some incredible self-confidence.

The smallest amount of headway takes you leaps and bounds when you’re learning how to gain confidence. Your mind begins to think in positive terms, not negative ones. If you gave an incredible presentation to your company last year, why wouldn’t you be able to complete your next project by the allotted deadline? If you’re the same person who ran your son’s baseball team while getting promoted to vice president in the same year, what’s holding you back from achieving this new goal, whatever it may be? Channeling moments of pride can help you to see the big picture more clearly, ultimately allowing you to become more confident.

 

As you practice building confidence more frequently and begin to believe in your own abilities, you’ll be able to access those feelings of well-being and pride faster and more often.

You are in charge of your emotions and can use them to shape your life however you choose. Decide today that you’re going to be a more confident, positive version of yourself, and you’ll have no other option than to succeed.

 

STRATEGIES FOR LEARNING HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE

Practice makes perfect when it comes to learning how to build confidence. Knowledge alone will not be enough, you must take action. Employ the following strategies to believe in yourself in any situation. 

 

1. USE CONFIDENT BODY LANGUAGE

Even if you don’t feel confident all the time, you can appear confident when needed by adjusting your body language. Research suggests that, when you project confidence through your actions, the degree to which you “feel” those actions makes the confidence feel real, too. To put this principle into action, tell yourself you’re capable of achieving your goal. Then feel the feeling of confidence you’re projecting. With practice, building confidence becomes natural. 

2. DEVELOP WORKPLACE CONFIDENCE

Learning how to build confidence is pivotal to succeeding in your career. Whether you’re in marketing, management, or another role, you must be able to communicate with self-assurance. Sales strategies are effective confidence-builders in any field. Achieve large success by building confidence with these proven sales strategies

3. EMBRACE A GROWTH MINDSET

Discovering self-confidence requires consistent action and thought. When you’re overcoming your self-doubt, having a growth mindset is key. When you view your challenges as opportunities, you’re able to approach them with assurance. You begin to view setbacks as progress, so they become part of mastering how to build confidence. 

4. PRACTICE POSITIVE THINKING

Feeling confident starts from within with positive thinking. When you’re building confidence, learn how to reframe your mindset to start thinking more positively and feel more self-assured as a result. We’re not talking about wearing rose-colored glasses – we’re talking about having a realistic sense of your capabilities. When you build a habit of positive self-talk, you’re able to view setbacks as stepping stones to success. 

5. LET GO OF THE NEED FOR CONTROL

When you’re focused on retaining a sense of control in life, it actually reduces your confidence. Nothing in life is truly within our control. By letting go, you’re able to accept circumstances as-is, which is a powerful component of learning how to build confidence. Learn how to recognize your need for control. Take steps toward letting go and finding a true sense of contentment and confidence in life. 

6. ACCEPT YOURSELF

When you’re learning how to build confidence, it’s tempting to focus on your “ideal self” – the person you wish you were, a superhero who never experiences fear, doubt or shame. While managing negative emotions is certainly part of building confidence, shutting down your feelings doesn’t help. Accept yourself as you are in any emotional state. When you accept yourself unconditionally, you’re able to look at your feelings objectively and appreciate what they teach you about yourself. 

7. TREAT OTHERS WITH RESPECT AND COMPASSION

When it comes to building confidence, how you treat others is as important as how you treat yourself. When you practice “soft skills” like respect, compassion, empathy and deep listening, you build rapport with others. When you feel good about your relationships, you’re mastering how to gain confidence with every interaction you have.

8. APPRECIATE YOUR VALUES AND LIVE BY THEM

Part of the problem with self-doubt is that you begin to doubt the core of who you are – the values that inspire you and guide your decisions. To truly learn how to build confidence, take pride in your values. They make you uniquely you. And when you make value-driven choices, there’s no room for doubt. You’re living up to your own standards, and that’s the definition of an extraordinary life filled with passion and purpose. 

Opioid Crisis: Addiction On The Rise

Opioid Crisis: Addiction On The Rise

ADDICTION ON THE RISE, OPIOID CRISIS ON LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK, UNITED STATES EPIDEMICE

“Opioid Crisis”: Addiction On The Rise

     Are we part of the problem or the solution?

As we all read in the news, hundreds of thousands of lives are being taken from addiction. Some due to overdose, while others during recovery. I have had my own personal experiences with addiction & mental health disorders. Attended some of the most “luxurious rehab facilities” for drug addiction/dual diagnostic to “state run facilities”. Witnessed the good, the bad and know for a fact nothing is changing for the better.

Narcan has allowed many people suffering from addiction a second chance, while others see it more like a safety net. Just a band-aid, which in the long run may do more harm than good for some. I was reading comments how teenagers are carrying around narcan like it’s pepper spray. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it made me think, who are these people hanging around that they need to make sure they are “prepared”. If no one in your close group is using, why is the fear still there? 

 Addiction Industry

While looking up statistics on search engines, I came across a whole industry dedicated to teaching others how easy it is to start up and profit off drug rehabilitation centers. I don’t want to name drop, for I am sure they mean well, but these consultants who specialize in “Drug Rehabs” show you a detailed description on how for as little as $7500, you can start a rehab, plus their fee.

These days just about anyone with the means can start a rehab, detox, out-patient or half-way house. In fact, I have seen with my own eyes, one company investing in every level of care down to the lab where they process drug toxicity screens. Why you may ask? They know the statistics. Clients slip up and start the process of re-admittance fees plus over charging your insurance. 

opiod overdose graph showing an increase in total number of overdose deaths

For instance, I was present at a new halfway house, where the owner told me the real reason they drug test 3 times a week, when 2 is more than enough is because the lab gives them a kick back from billing insurance companies a modest bill.  More testing, equals more money split between the lab and the facility. Now, they are cutting out the middleman, investing in their own labs. (Some flop-house allows you to pay to stay)

Are Drug Rehab Centers Working?

With so many facilities on the rise, why is the relapse rate at 97%?  

There are amazing people out there who are making a difference, but are getting let go to hire cheaper replacements. All of us can agree that there are so many facilities with open beds available, but only if you have the right insurance or cash on hand. Otherwise, depending on the state your in, hospital settings, with waiting lists may be in your future. That person may have had a moment of clarity, but being put on a waiting list is just an excuse to continue their addiction. Some may even get money for a hotel & food. No Narcan.

If we are being providing “treatment” on any level, then maybe we need to figure out why these treatments statistics are so low. I know the person has to want it, but it’s our job to snap them back into reality and motivate them to want it even more for themselves. 

 

When you tell your patients, “Look to your left and right, only 1 of you might make it” on your first day of  treatment, kind of . A 97% relapse rate should be a red flag that we don’t just need more facilities that take insurance, but that we need more quality treatment techniques with the resources they need for success. I’ve “successfully” completed more programs than I can count. From 7 days to a year and a half, yet not one of them could I give full credit to. 

Recovery

Doctors, therapists & counselors put labels on their patients, and send them home with more medications than was trying to get off. How many people do you know on an anti-depressant that you know of is still unhappy? Nothing changes, if nothing changes. They take a pill, but go back to the same behaviors and thought process that made them depressed.

addiction and recovery, coaching and training, habits and changes arrows pointing in different directions to overcome addiction

The science behind psychology has evolved. Combining the right techniques & strategies in the right sequence can help find the leverage we need to break these negative patterns. And then break them  over and over until that record is so scratched it cannot be re-played.  The problem I noticed was the lack of these tools & techniques being implemented. The same ones that have worked for presidents, celebrities, over millions of people. Instead, we just dig up the past which ends up adding more things to be mad or depressed about in which you would not have thought have before. (Personal Experience) 

We need to understand the core beliefs of the patients in a non-judgmental way. Which everyone has a different belief system to begin with, so not an easy task. In-patent has its place, helping to separate the patient from the drug and detoxify them safely. It’s what comes after that can either make or break a patients success.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Resilient Life Management sees a “Limitation” and our mission is to break it, community by community. Join our efforts to educate not just yourselves, but our younger generations. I am living proof that with proper training & coaching, the power to shatter that pattern for good is in your reach. That is when a new positive pattern needs to be conditioned in to replace it, or they will fall right back to old behaviors. It is not a “vacation”  like some of these luxurious rehabs, but they have their place. This is a profound learning experience on how to live a Resilient Life. Relapse, Overdose, doesn’t have to be a part of your story, but it was a part of mine.

Adam Rubin is a proud father of 3 and the owner of Resilient Life Management. Decades of trial & error had led him to become the man he is today. Adam trained and was coached through Anthony Robbins and his team. His unique experience has put him in a position to use his training to help guide individuals and businesses towards growth & success.
Confidence, quote to become who you want to be, you must change who you used to be

HOW TO GAIN CONFIDENCE

ADDICTION ON THE RISE, OPIOID CRISIS ON LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK, UNITED STATES EPIDEMICE

Opioid Crisis: Addiction On The Rise

“Opioid Crisis”: Addiction On The Rise      Are we part of the problem or the solution? As we all read in the news, hundreds of thousands of lives are being taken from addiction. Some due to overdose, while others during recovery. I have had my own personal experiences with addiction & mental health disorders. […]

lEADERSHIP

How To Be Happy At Work

How To End Procrastination Forever!

How To End Procrastination Forever!

Even the best of us have fell into the pits of procrastination. There are many ways end this, but like I always say, knowing the final outcome you are intended to accomplish is a must. If this is always on your mind, every step closer should be exhilarating. You set your desire and took massive action. Sometimes using Juice Words to tasks or projects that you dislike the most could be helpful in reminding you. Check out mu last blog where I mention Juice Words for more on that Here are a few more tips:

  1. Project Planning: With the outcome on your mind, a plan of action should be mapped out before hand. The night before, plan what you attend to accomplish the next day.
  2. Visualize & Affirm: If you can’t picture the end result the outcome and the path/steps in your head. Your heart will pause. Always remember the Why? the purpose. Why did you wan’t this outcome when you started? Turn that want into a must. “I must complete this paperwork in order to achieve my goal.”
  3. Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone and go to the Necessary Zone: It is easy to stay in your comfort zone and do the same thing you always do, but that is not growth. If we’re not growing, we’re moving backwards.It is Necessary: to Grow, to Learn More, to Serve More, to Get Better, to Grow Relationships, to Improve on the Skills Needed to get to the result.
    1. DON’T be afraid to reach your goal’s. Ask yourself, What do you need to do? WHY??? Go into the unknown. Get uncomfortable and master your craft. Get over the fear of being embarrassed. It’s okay to feel like a fool at first when your learning something new. You haven’t done it, yet! If you want to be or do something you’ve never done before, you must do things you’ve never done.
No Goals=No Growth No Clarity=No Change
How To Boost Confidence

How To Boost Confidence

CONFIDENCE

Have you ever jumped out of bed in a fantastic mood and had the entire day go your way? How about the opposite? How you feel directly results from your state of mind. If you’re perpetually stressed and anxious, you will live in a depressed state–everything in your life will feel like it’s going awry. During times like this, you may feel you can’t do anything right, and your confidence will take a direct hit. If you consistently feel gratitude, love, and joy, you will live in an amazing, positive state in which nothing bothers you. You’ll move through your day with purpose, completing your tasks with enthusiasm and building self-confidence along the way.
confidence
How do we reach these very different states?
By giving in to our emotions. If you let them dictate how you feel without figuring out why you feel a particular way, your emotions will influence your actions. Over time, this affects how you feel and act every single day. If you’re fueled by a sense of well-being, you’ll exude happiness and calm. If you’re bogged down by negativity, those around you will sense your unhappiness and fear. How can you avoid the latter?
 
In actuality, you are completely in charge of how you feel, including whether you feel confident. Confidence is not something people are born with or have–it’s something you can create. It’s the feeling of certainty that you can accomplish what you set out to do. Confidence is like any other emotion. It is something you feel, and you can train yourself to access it in an instant. 

WHAT’S YOUR PURPOSE

 
Why is building confidence important to you? Do you present at conventions where you interact with a huge number of people? Do you run a company or a team and need to present a strong sense of leadership? Maybe you’ve started dating and want to make a good impression when you meet a potential new love interest. The first step in building self-confidence is knowing why you want to achieve it.
 
Once you know your purpose, building confidence becomes a matter of retraining your brain. To accomplish your goal, you need to present yourself as a confident person. There is no other way to do it. Ignore the uncertainty that holds you back; Second-guessing yourself will open the door to hesitance, doubt, and fear. As you let go of negative thoughts that are holding you back, your body will take the cue it’s time to stand up straighter, stop fidgeting and present as the best version of yourself. Your mind and body begin a positive feedback loop, each part noticing the increasing confidence of the other and responding in kind.

CONSIDER YOUR QUESTIONS

consider your questions
What questions are you asking yourself? If the things that come to mind are, “How come I’m not successful?” “Am I not smart enough to reach my goal?” “Do other people see me as a failure?” then you are setting yourself up for failure.Shift the pattern of your thoughts and ask yourself things like, “Why shouldn’t I accomplish everything I set my mind to?” and “Why would I waste time on my anxieties instead of focusing on my strengths?” When you ask a better question, you get a better answer. As Tony Robbins says, “Whatever you hold in your mind consistently is exactly what you will experience in your life.” If you go into a situation knowing that you can handle it—whatever it is–then that’s exactly what you’ll do. By assessing your limiting thoughts and beliefs and shifting your pattern of thought, you can more easily gain confidence. If you ask negative, limiting questions when it’s time to be confident, stop yourself. Think something positive about yourself instead and begin focusing on all the reasons you’ll succeed instead of why you’ll fail.

WHAT EXCITES YOU?

 
There’s one incredible trick that will help you figure out how to build confidence even when you’re at your absolute lowest: Thinking about something you’re proud of. When you’re feeling unsure of yourself, remember a recent accomplishment. Maybe you did something incredible at work, or you recently helped a family member. It can be as simple as helping someone lift a box or as intricate as solving a complex problem on an important project. Whatever it is, it’s something you did, and no one else. That’s worth celebrating. Recognizing this accomplishment and your ability to do it will instantly elevate your mood and allow you to channel some incredible self-confidence.
what excites you
Once that happens, your mind thinks in positive terms, not negative ones. If you gave an incredible presentation to your company last year, why wouldn’t you be able to complete your next project by the allotted deadline? If you’re the same person who ran your son’s baseball team while getting promoted to vice president in the same year, what’s holding you back from achieving this new goal, whatever it may be? Channeling moments of pride can help you see the big picture, ultimately allowing you to become more confident.
As you practice tapping into confidence more frequently and believe in your own abilities, you’ll be able to access those feelings of well-being and pride faster and more often. You are in charge of your emotions and can use them to shape your life however you choose. Decide today that you will be a more confident, positive version of yourself, and you’ll have no other option than to succeed.